Healthy Eating vs. “Perfect” Eating: Why Consistency Matters More
Healthy Eating vs. “Perfect” Eating: Why Consistency Matters More
When this is published in May, it is Mental Health Awareness Month, which has significant connections to nutrition. Way more than people realize. Nutrition is not just about what people eat, but also about how they think about food, and how food affects their bodies.
Over the years, terms and phrases like “clean eating,” “counting macros,” “detoxing,” and other phrases tied to diet culture show up everywhere – online and in face-to-face conversations. Some people use these approaches in a structured way that they believe is helpful. Others find themselves stuck in patterns that feel rigid, stressful, and hard to maintain. But, often, they can’t let those patterns go.
This is where the difference between healthy eating and an idealized version of eating, or eating perfectly, becomes important.
What Healthy Eating Actually Looks Like
Despite what many people believe, healthy eating is not about strict rules or eliminating entire categories of food. It is not about cheating, being bad, or thinking “I shouldn’t be eating this.” It is about patterns that support your body over time.
It includes a variety of foods.
It allows for flexibility.
It adapts to your schedule, your preferences, and your culture.
It supports energy, health markers, and daily life.
There is room for planning, but also room for change.
Most importantly, it can be maintained. It is sustainable. It is not something you have to “start over” when you’ve “slipped.”
When Eating Becomes Rigid
On the other hand, some patterns can start to feel more like unbreakable rules.
This can show up in different ways:
Labeling foods as strictly “good” or “bad”
Feeling anxious when plans change
Avoiding social situations because of food
Obsessively tracking intake or timing
Feeling like one off-plan meal has undone everything
These patterns can take a toll not just physically but also mentally and emotionally.
A Closer Look at Orthorexia
One term that has come up more often in recent years is Orthorexia, a term that was first described in 1997, so this is something that has been talked about for over 25, almost 30, years.
What is orthorexia?
Orthorexia is a term that describes an obsession with eating healthy food. It comes from the Greek words ortho, meaning ‘correct’ and orexis, meaning ‘appetite’.
Orthorexia is not officially recognized as a clinical diagnosis in the same way as some other eating disorders, but it is used to describe an unhealthy obsession with eating in a way that is perceived as “healthy.”
It often starts with good intentions. Someone wants to improve their health, feel better, or eat higher-quality foods.
However, over time, this can become much more rigid. The list of acceptable foods gets smaller. Rules become stricter. There can be anxiety around eating anything outside of those rules.
What began as a health-focused goal can turn into something that disrupts daily life.
A Note on Eating Disorders and Disordered Eating
There are also clinically recognized conditions such as anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder. These are serious medical and mental health conditions that require professional support.
There is also something known as disordered eating, which may not meet the criteria for a clinical diagnosis but still involves unhealthy patterns and relationships with food.
I am not diagnosing anything here. That is not my role in this setting. But it is important to increase awareness.
If you or someone you know is struggling, reaching out to a qualified professional is an important step. Organizations like theNational Eating Disorders Association provide resources and support.
Cultural Messaging and the Seriousness of the “Almond Mom” Moniker
You may have heard the terms “almond mom” or “almond dad” circulating online. These labels and phrases are used to describe a parent who models restrictive eating habits or places a strong emphasis on limiting food.
While sometimes used humorously, they reflect a broader and concerning issue. The messages we hear growing up about food, body size, and eating habits can shape how we think about food as adults. While we don’t know for sure if eating disorders are genetic, we do know they run in families, indicating that it is highly likely there is an environmental factor.
These patterns can be passed down in subtle ways, even when someone is trying to make changes.
Real-World Examples
In my work, I have seen how extreme approaches can affect people over time.
One example is individuals preparing for physique or body competitions. The level of discipline required can be very high. Meals are measured, timed, and planned down to the smallest detail.
I have had people come to luncheon and feel they could not eat anything available because it did not fit their plan. Not just “feel” that they couldn’t eat, but that they absolutely did not eat anything while there, or, in one case, someone brought her own food to the restaurant. Some of them were relying on very limited foods in the weeks leading up to a competition.
Even after the competition ends, the mindset does not always let go right away. I have worked with individuals who felt anxious about reintroducing foods. More than a year later, they are no longer competing or “having” to eat so restrictively. But their mindset just can’t let it go. There can be fear about eating anything outside of what they have been doing.
That is not about a lack of knowledge. It is about how patterns and beliefs can become deeply ingrained. Very deeply.
Mental and Emotional Impact
When eating becomes rigid, it can affect more than just food choices.
There can be:
Increased stress around meals
Guilt tied to food decisions
Social isolation
Difficulty listening to hunger and fullness cues
A constant sense of needing to “get it right”
Over time, this can take a toll on overall well-being. Physical, mental, emotional, and social.
Shifting the Mindset
If you recognize some of these patterns, the next step is not to overhaul everything overnight.
A few starting points:
Notice your thoughts around food without judging them
Challenge all-or-nothing thinking
Allow for flexibility in meals
Focus on what you can add rather than what you need to remove
Pay attention to how foods make you feel, not just what they contain
It is also important to recognize that you cannot change someone else’s mindset if they are not ready. You can offer support, but change has to come from within.
Why Consistency Matters More
When we zoom out, health is not determined by a single meal or a single day.
It is shaped by patterns over time.
Consistent, realistic habits will always be more effective than short-term, highly restrictive behavior.
That might look like:
Eating balanced meals most of the time
Including a variety of foods
Staying active in ways that fit your life
Allowing for flexibility when plans change
This approach supports both physical health and mental well-being.
A More Sustainable Approach
Healthy eating should support your life, not take it over.
It should allow you to participate in social events, enjoy meals, and adapt when needed.
If the way you are eating is creating stress, anxiety, or isolation, it may be worth stepping back and reassessing.
In the long run, consistency with a flexible approach leads to better outcomes.
If this resonates with you, or if your approach to eating has started to feel more stressful than supportive, it may be worth talking it through.
A more flexible, realistic approach can look different for everyone.
Schedule an introductory call so we can discuss your goals, current habits, and what a more sustainable path forward might look like for you.
Read More:
Scarff JR. Orthorexia Nervosa: An Obsession With Healthy Eating. Fed Pract. 2017 Jun;34(6):36-39. PMID: 30766283; PMCID: PMC6370446. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6370446/
